Patience and Time
by EveryDayArtist
Summary: Moved from Ao3. Post Zero Hour. "No, I don't think so." Kallus shifted, eyes narrowing. "Garazeb your homebase was attacked and you lost many comrades. Your allies died around you, you very nearly died yourself. I don't believe for one second that you are 'just fine'."


The rebel officer screamed out and thrashed in Zeb's arms, making the Lasat wince as he watched another officer trying to splint her leg. The lieutenant, Macky or Masey or something, was whimpering into his shoulder through the pain and he wished they had something to give the girl. But the pain medications the much of the Ghost's supplies had already been doled out to the more critically wounded. The other lieutenant finished her bandaging and leaned over to peer at her friend in concern. "Is she alright, sir?"

"I think so." Tapping her head, Zeb stared down as well. "You alright?"

"It's Lieutenant Masey, sir." The girl in his arms was still crying and out of breath but she managed a brave smile up at him. "I'll be okay, it hurts but not as much. Thank you Felicity."

The other girl leaned over and they embraced in relief. "Dammit, Reho, you scared me!"

Zeb shifted uncomfortably, now holding both of them. "I don't suppose i can help you two with anything else or..?"

Both of them laughed, Felicity standing up. "I'm so sorry sir, could you carry her for me?"

They found Reho a cot in the common room and both girls sat down, the injured lieutenant smiling up at Zeb. "Thank you so much for your help."

"Hopefully we'll be able to get you a bacta patch soon."

Felicity bit her lip, bumping her forehead against Reho's shoulder. The injured girl gave her a one armed hug, shadows under her eyes. "I know, I was scared too."

"That was not what I was expecting."

"What were you expecting, a picnic on the beach?"

"Not to see my best friend get attacked by a fragging Walker!"

Reho winced. "Yeah, my bad…"

Felicity tried to keep up her face grave but it collapsed under the weight of her relief and fear. She pressed closer to her friend and started to cry into her neck as Reho hugged her back and began crying. "Drent… I'm going to miss him so m-much…"

He was intruding. Zeb backed away and hurried to his room, feeling claustrophobic surrounded by people. The dim lighting of his bedroom was soothing against his frayed nerves as he tried to calm down. Losing Chopper Base was… This was bringing up memories he never wanted to revisit. He needed something to do.

Cleaning his Bo-rifle was something he could do in his sleep, but the repetitive motions were comforting. Zeb sat on the edge of his bunk, cradling the precious weapon and thought about how he once again was forced to search for a new home…

"Garazeb?"

Swearing loudly and nearly dropping his rifle, Zeb jolted to stare at the doorway where their newest recruit was lingering. Kallus waved awkwardly at the weapon, with a lost look in his eyes that contrasted with the stiff posture he couldn't seem to shed. "I do not wish to interrupt. I can-"

Without hesitation, Zeb growled out,"You're not, get in here. You look dead on your feet."

"I am sorry, but Bridger agreed to move in with Kanan so that…"

The idea of sharing a room with his former enemy should probably have concerned him but Zeb shrugged. "Come on in."

Tucking his feet up under him, Kallus sat onto one of the chairs they'd dragged in from the common room to make more room for beds and eyed Zeb. The Lasat eyed him back, the man had looked worse for the wear when he boarded; now his wounds still stood out against his pale skin but he was garbed in some of Kanan's clothes and seeing him out of Imperial black was both jarring and a nice change. As though sensing Zeb's amusement, Kallus looked away and huffed. "How are you holding up?"

Zeb blinked. "Fine."

"No, I don't think so." Kallus shifted, eyes narrowing. "Garazeb your homebase was attacked and you lost many comrades. Your allies died around you, you very nearly died yourself. I don't believe for one second that you are 'just fine'."

There should have been something amusing about the man with a violent black eye, split lip and pained limp trying to comfort him but there was too much truth to the words. Putting his rifle to the side, Zeb sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck. "Karabast… Look, yes. I'm tired. I'm upset. I just want to move on."

"That is not…" Kallus blew out a breath and ran a hand through his hair while Zeb watched in amusement, still oddly charmed with the messy strands of hair that refused to stop falling over Kallus' brow. He wasn't sure if it was relief, freedom or strain that was allowing the ex-agent to look so human but Zeb liked it.

"Dammit Garazeb." Kallus was glaring at him again. "Stop that. Don't-Look, it does not have to be me, force knows you have every right to tell me to go to hell. But talk to someone about this. Everyone else is talking to one another-"

Zeb cocked an eyebrow. "Have you?"

"That is beside the point."

"Sounds a tad hypocritical to me."

"For the love of-" Kallus stood up, huffing angrily. "Fine. I can barely sleep. I didn't think I would live through-The fact that I could get away with all this for as long as I did when Thrawn-" Swallowing hard, the human broke eye-contact. "So, yes, I feel… Aimless and I don't know where I will end up or whether I'll ever feel like I belong anywhere. But I will get over it. Now. Talk."

They stared at each other for a long moment and Zeb once again found himself wondering at the relationship he'd created with the man he had blamed for so long for everything he'd lost. He'd gone through hell for so many years, angry at the Empire and himself for not being able to help his friends and family. But finding the survivors, finding Lira San, spending time with this rag-tag new family, it had all slowly lightened the heavy burden on his shoulders. The horrors of losing his home and watching the brutal deaths of so many comrades would never truly fade away, but no longer was this hate and helplessness driving him.

"This isn't my first time losing friends in combat, you know that." Zeb slowly went back to his weapon, waiting until he heard the sounds of Kallus sitting down again to continue. "And I'd never say it gets easier. Karabast, it'll always be like a laser to the gut but I've learned not to blame myself for things out of my control. Rex and I did our best to defend the base and Sato… Sato made a choice, a brave, foolishly noble choice."

"He did." Kallus agreed quietly. "I… I spoke to him occasionally as Fulcrum. He was a very brave and intelligent man."

"Heh, yeah. It may sound selfish but one of the things that scared me the most was that my crew might not make it. In the grand scheme of things it might not be-"

Kallus interrupted. "Garazeb. Of course you were. They're your family."

"It was hard, not having everyone in one place." Zeb placed the rifle on his bed, eyes turning distant. "It always is, but this time… For a second back there, I really thought we were gonna lose Kanan. And Ezra, hell, kid could've died so easy and we all know Hera would have willingly gone down with the base if push came to shove and… And I don't like feeling helpless."

"Helpless is not a word I would ever associate with you." Zeb blinked at the fond grin on Kallus' face. "Oh, come now. Not only are you one of the more experienced of the rebellion's members but you refuse to back down. You're a fighter, Garazeb."

"...Always felt like a coward for not dying with my men." He admitted, gut clenching from the old memories. Kallus looked away, shoulders tensing for a second before forcing himself to look back at Zeb calmly.

"You are nothing like a coward. You did not die that day and I know there was a reason for that."

Suddenly looking uncomfortable, Kallus stood abruptly and moved for the door. "I believe I will check in with Captain Syndulla."

"Kallus." Zeb grinned. "Thanks for the pep talk, not bad for an Imp."

The human glared at him over his shoulder for a second before he smiled back.

Left in the darkened room again, Zeb looked down at his weapon thoughtfully. He knew that this guilt would fade, he'd gone through it before. With a rush, he thought about the hundreds of rebels who'd escaped because of the actions of his crew, his family. Suddenly the confines of his room felt constricting.

Dropping the weapon onto his bedside table, he wondered what Ezra and Chopper were up to. He'd barely made it out of the door when he bumped into Felicity, who yelped in surprise. "I'm so sorry sir, I was looking for you."

"Everything alright?"

She rubbed the back of her neck. "Reho fell asleep, so I'm trying to find something to do."

Zeb watched her thoughtfully. She was young, so many of the people here were; but none of them were children any longer, this war, the Empire and Thrawn had seen to that. But there was something about the way they all seemed to bounce back that made him think that maybe Kallus had a point. He slung an arm around the girl's shoulder. "Come on then, let's get some food."

* * *

"The two most powerful weapons are patience and time." - Leo Tolstoy


End file.
